I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
