I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize