PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Two words: nipple clamps
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