do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
