john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
