I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i think i just lost a toe
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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