life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
