my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
