There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
