Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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