Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
