I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
