If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
