help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
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I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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