considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
