Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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