you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
