It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize