I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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