when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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