I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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