I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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