I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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