omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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