The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
