i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
