just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
