if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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