My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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