she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize