I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How's work?
Spinning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
