On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
