Sponge bath it is.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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