I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
