What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
