i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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