How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
is it fun? or sober?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
