I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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