this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
