jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
