So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
