Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize