I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize