I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
