I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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