Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
