she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
