i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
