Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
