Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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