eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
