I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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