Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
