i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
