just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
