Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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