Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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