you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
