I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
