Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
