Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize