a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
