Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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