Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
