I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
send nudes
from the living room?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
