90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
